Time

Today i learnt to play Time by Hans Zimmer. It's a sombre, haunting, lachrymose piano piece, that serves as a sobering reminder that no matter how hard we try to keep things the same, no matter how hard we cling on to our memories, the past is the past, and all that has happened eventually is washed away, as much as we'd like it to stay. Time will always slip from our grasp, and there is nothing, absolutely nothing we can do to reclaim it. There's a lot of emotion in this piece, with sorrow, hatred, anger, bewilderment and nagging emptiness thrown in the mix. Somehow i can feel it when i play the song.

Perhaps this is because i feel the same way about time. I have many regrets, and would give anything to rewind the clock, and start over, start afresh. Perhaps in a world where i never applied for council, where i never joined canoeing, where i was friendly sooner, where i never joined band first... Where i never came to NJC.

Coming to NJC is a decision i deeply, sorely regret. Treated like JC students from day 1, we lost a secondary school experience. I was foolish then and in my many moments of folly, i came to the situation i am in now. A situation which i hate, loathe and despise. But no matter how much i loathe my decision five years ago, the only thing i can do to change it is to transfer out now, which is now, in my own hands. Im starting on the letter for the schools, which, if circumstances bid so, i will send.

I've lost so much time, and so many things in the past.

I regret.